There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize