I wish I could teleport
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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