Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
