Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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