Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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