I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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