Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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