I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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