pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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