wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
