you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize