There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
