I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there was a trapeze. enough said
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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