I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize