and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
