So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
