haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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