just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize