Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
