You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
