forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize