it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
