so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
