I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
