it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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