The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
