K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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