Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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