we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
