Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
