My room smells like vodka and shame
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
