I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
