I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize