Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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