my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
