Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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