I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Bring me that man meat
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
