So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
