Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize