To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
