There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
