I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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