You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
