I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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