Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
