just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
