Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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