At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
