Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize