Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
