so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize