The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
