i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize