I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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