If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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