I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
