You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
