I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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