It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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