There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
