Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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