It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize