oh god the rape fog is back!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
