You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize