And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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