i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Couch. On fire.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
