Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
