everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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