Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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