fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
